Aaron Weir Kelstone

RUMINATIONS OF A CYBORG*

Rumination: The act of pondering; meditation.

Cyborg: A human being whose body has been taken over in whole or in part by electromechanical devices.

I ruminate because when you are a monkey in the middle you get it from all sides. Each side wants something, rejects something, fears something, wonders something, or silently holds the gazing eye on the monkey in the middle of things.

EAR 1 EAR 2

Me born deaf ear 1.
Me born something ear 2. What that? No one know.
Ear 1 find deaf school, happy-happy.
Ear 2 hear something, add hearing aid, happy-happy . . . not.
Time pass, ear 2 learn tolerate machine hang on body.
But others see hearing aid
me no fit full in deaf world, become HH.
Later become hearing impaired.
Later become monkey in the middle.
Deaf world: school love.
Hearing world: family no know, no connect.
Ear 1 ignore, deaf culture good, sign language good.
Ear 2 hear less.
Time pass
Ear 2 hear less . . . less . . . less.
Time pass.
Ear 2 hear nothing, join ear 1.
Lip read learn, stare interpreter learn,
ear 1 now full boss.
Time pass.
Ear 2 tell ear 1, me miss sound sometimes.
Ear 1 tell ear 2, forget it, no need sound.
Ear 2 say but . . . ear 1 say shhhhhhhhhhh!
Time pass . . . long time pass . . . long, long time pass.
CI come, ear 2 wonder, ear 1 say NO!
Time pass.
Ear 2 fearful think, ear 1 say for-for.
Time pass.
Ear 2 say discriminate stop please.
Ear 2 and ear 1 need connect,
deaf school, deaf culture, sign language all still good.
Ear 2 say me miss music, miss birds, miss hear children laughing.
Miss not all, just some.
Ear 1 partner with ear 2.
That very good.
Oppress ear 1, no, ear 2, no.
Ear 1 and ear 2 no change just become 1.
So . . .
Cyborg me now.
Join toyota prius, join honda insight, join Schwarzenegger.
Others now see wire in head
me no fit in deaf world, become soul traitor.
Later me label what? Know . . . not.
But
still monkey in the middle.
Ear 1, ear 2 connect.
Both deaf love, deaf culture love, sign language love, music love, life love,
do-do me now?

*Previously published in Clerc Scar.

Aaron Weir Kelstone is an actor, director, playwright, writer, and teacher. He has 20 years of professional theatre experience and has taught at NTID/RIT in Rochester, NY for the past 9 years. His personal experiences as a deaf person in America has influenced much of his artistic work.