Wendy Natkong

FROM EMS TO MS

My life, I thought, was lived through my hands.
Hands that caressed babies,
Three of my own and twenty-seven that I caught.

Hands that held broken bones together while dripping with gasoline.
Hands that pressed a chest hoping to restore life,
One, two, three, four, five - breathe.
Hands that stopped bleeding and gave drugs through an IV line,
Hands that held tight to suffering hands,
Hands that wiped many tears from my own face.

Hands that could demonstrate the heart to thousands of students,
Contracting from top to bottom, top to bottom.
Hands that went palm up to bless the sky when students 'got it',
Hands that patted a back when a student didn't.

Hands that wrote budgets and reprimands and commendations.
Hands held out to beg for money and changes.
Hands held out to receive award plaques and demotion notices.

Hands scraping through dirty mine muck to comfort a friend.
Hands praying for ten more minutes of the golden hour.
Hands high-fiving doctors when the prayers were answered.

Hands shaking hands and wrapping burly miners in farewell hugs.
Hands learning to become idle.
Hands holding papers that announce a career's end.

Hands that won't answer a message from the brain.
Hands that sear with horrid nerve pain.
Hands learning to handle a syringe meant for my own body.
Hands grabbing furniture to maintain balance.
Hands gripping a cane, a walker, wheels on a chair.
Hands filling with pills four times a day.

Hands that can no longer lift a grandchild.
Hands that don't scream pain when a knife slices through.
Hands covered in burn scars because they cannot sense the heat.
Hands that stifle a laugh when my mouth says stupid things.
Hands that blow kisses and say "thank you" for helping me.
Hands that work constantly to feel better, maybe even get well.

My life, I thought, was lived through my hands.
Now I know for sure....my life was always lived through my heart.

Wendy Natkong's work has appeared in several collections of inspirational stories and poetry. She has retired, due to MS, from a long career as and Emergency Medical professional. After sixteen years in Alaska, she and her husband, Don, now live near Ivanhoe, NC.