Patricia Wellingham-Jones

DIALOGUE WITH MY KNEE

Knee, what the heck are you doing to me?
In an instant you changed my whole life.

Well, lady with the gray hair
and a lot of decades riding on you,
what were you doing on that ladder?
As your friend Marilyn says,
that was beyond stupid!

I know, I know, but I thought
I could do it...

Four years ago I hurt so bad
you took us both to the doctor.
I haven't felt right since.
Now you go and twist me all to pieces,
tear whole ligaments apart.
What's an old knee gonna do?

I wish I knew, don't like the idea of knives.
Hate this limbo we're in,
the other hurts in the frame.
I do want to thank you for getting stronger, though.

I don't know what's ahead
but I don't like feeling this wobbly.
C'mon, girl, let's get this body back into shape.
We still have decades to go.

* * *

KEYS*

In those last months you forgot
where you were
to eat lunch
how to find the bathroom
that you were dressed
or not

You forgot my name
then your own
even the parts of your body

But you never forgot
to put keys in your pocket
patted your pants to check
fretted if they were gone

Those keys
you no longer used
that would not gain
entrance to heaven

Those keys
unlocked the vault
of comfort

*Published in Rattlesnake Review, 2008

* * *

MRI WITHOUT VALIUM

Head first I slide
into the cigar tube
Strapped in place
arms at my side

Plastic and metal
wrap my body
stifle breath

Voices echo from beyond
Soothing phrases
mean nothing
to my clammy skin

Clanking begins
The groan of a monster
My mouth opens
a whimper forms

Instead I grab
a firm hold
on my scrabbling mind

Eyes closed
I pull up a picture
blue Pacific sky
My body stretched
on a sailboat deck

I listen to the creak and moan
of mast and spar
The faint shudder
against my skin
is the swish of waves

My heart rate slows
The machine surrounds me
does what it must

Patricia Wellingham-Jones, PhD, RN, has written Don't Turn Away: Poems About Breast Cancer and End-Cycle: Poems About Caregiving, among others. Her work is published in numerous anthologies, journals and Internet magazines. A cancer survivor, she also lives with neurological dysfunction in arms and hands (as well as chronic pain). She has a longtime interest in 'healing writing' and the benefits people gain from writing and reading their work together.